Who says what's normal anyway?

It is normal; yes normal, to have your baby sleeping next to you. In societies all around the world bed-sharing is a parenting norm. Unfortunately, a growing voice is saying that sleeping with your baby is dangerous. And parents are being guilt-tripped into sleeping their babies away from them.

Recent newspaper articles have identified bedsharing as a dangerous practice, which contributes to the death of babies. It seems that whenever a baby dies in an adult bed; bed-sharing is the culprit, even where other risk factors are evident.

The question we all, Coroners and health professionals included, need to ask is; what are the conditions that change bedsharing, into something dangerous?

Bedsharing is a time honoured tradition shared by many cultures. Many whānau enjoy the benefits of safe bedsharing such as closeness with their baby. However, bedsharing is hazardous to babies when:

• A parent who smokes bed shares with their infant
• A parent is under the influence of alcohol or drugs that cause sedation
• A parent is excessively tired
• Other children share the bed with an infant
• The infant gets caught under bedding e.g. pillows and duvets
• The bed is a water bed or if the mattress is too soft
• A parent falls asleep with an infant on a sofa
• An infant gets caught between the bed and the wall or falls off the bed
• The infant is rolled on
  

Babies at risk should be put to sleep in their own cot, bassinette or wahakura. Pillows and duvets should not be used in an infant's sleeping environment. The mattress should also be firm.

Taku tamaiti

Taku raukura

Kia tata mai koe

Kia u

Kia maia

Kia manawanui

At the end of the day you and I, parents and grandparents, set the norms for our whanau. To be Maori is to be healthy and grow healthy, happy tamariki.

Pauline Hopa

Just ordinary people

I see myself as Willy Apiata. Just an ordinary person...

These words were brought to life this weekend at Waitangi. When Corporal Willie Apiata VC was formally welcomed by the iwi of Tai Tokerau. Words of welcome, praise and honour were bestowed upon him at his hokinga mai ki te kainga. Taonga whakairo, toi, whakaahua and song were gifted with respect and aroha to honour his achievement and tell him we were proud of him.

What struck me about his visit was the way in which he responded instinctively to every situation, whether formal or informal, with the composure of a public personality, use to the intrusiveness of public gaze and the vagaries of Maori protocol. You get a sense that it is this same instinctiveness that saw him pick up his fellow solider and carry him to safety. As Apiata moved around the marae among the people, his presence created a ripple of joyous titter and brought audible sighs of wonderment, from young and old. A real-life Maori hero among us made it feel really good to be a Maori.

On Friday, Maori SIDS farewelled our very own hero, Riripeti Haretuku, after 14 years of dedicated and committed service to Maori child health. It was fitting that a number of her mentors and colleagues gathered to gift her words of appreciation, honour, respect and aroha. In her words, she too is just an ordinary person. But those who know Riripeti and of her work also know that she is resolute and determined to make a real difference for tamariki Maori. And will go to and do whatever it takes to get the job done.

Like Apiata she too moves instinctively with seeming ease in all sorts of situations. Whether its challenging politicians, encouraging colleagues, strategizing with planners, consoling SIDS whanau in grief, listening and being with kaumatua or just hanging with her mates and whanau. Riripeti creates a titter wherever she goes. She makes me proud to be Maori.

When we sent out her panui one reply received asked “is there a BTW?” The answer to that is “Watch this space”. Because like the “Hotel California” – in Maori SIDS you can book out, but you never really leave.

Pauline Hopa